Places I Can’t Return To

I fall off a roof trying to sneak into a Huey Lewis show. And that might not have been the worst accident of the evening.

I interviewed at the wrong the company- and it was one of my better interviews. I also share the three weirdest decisions I ever made during job interviews. And I've done of a ton of them.

I attended the wrong wedding. Twice. When comedy bookers ask me for a bio, that's all I send them- that I attended the wrong wedding, twice. That sums it all up. This is the story about both times.

I always lied on job interviews thinking, what's the worse that can happen? They catch you in a lie and you don't get the job?- You wouldn't have gotten it anyway. It turns out, the worst thing that can happen is you DO get the job.This is what happens when you get a job you are not qualified for.

I nearly kill myself and two passengers, driving off a bridge while trying to reach a baseball game.

I get drunk in the freezing cold in Cleveland with southerners who are stuck there by accident.  I share a few additional stories that all illustrate how drunk swimming is like declaring war- you must have an exit strategy first. 

I tell the story about how I added my wife's last name to my own, which was not easy to do in Illinois (at the time). But, luckily, Illinois bureaucrats are creative.

I was fired from a job for having too big of a vocabulary. Or at least that's how I tell the story. I also talk about how computer employees and IT support staff try to trade stupid customers off to coworkers, rather than dealing with them directly.

Day drinking leads to Sean and a buddy nearly exploding themselves, which leads Sean to wonder if walking drunk is more dangerous than driving drunk.

My family's annual St. Patrick's Day tradition: skipping school to go watch the parade in downtown Cleveland. Then losing at least two of my brothers.